I had a sex dream - and you were in it
I'll tell you about it if you've got a minute
We were both younger and a little bit firmer
Your hair got all tousled ‘cos you were a squirmer
We closed the bedroom door
And then I had you on the floor
But still you wanted more
It wasn't exactly hearts and flowers
We tangled the bed sheets for hours and hours
You said that you liked it harder and faster
We did it so hard that we knocked off the plaster
The scene: a Travelodge for two
The cast: just me and you
Wondering what to do
And when I wake up with her by my side again
I wonder what I've done to be denied again
It seems it’s only in a dream (oh really?)
You wanted to do something highly immoral
Cos you and your boyfriend had had a bad quarrel
I shrugged and unzipped with a grin on my lips
While you stood there and waited with your hands on your hips
You said you wanted it there
I blinked and said "where?"
And you said you didn't care
It wasn't exactly hearts and flowers
We tangled the bed sheets for hours and hours
You said that you liked it harder and faster
We did it so hard that we knocked off the plaster
The scene: a Travelodge for two
The cast: just me and you
Wondering what to do
And when I wake up with her by my side again
I wonder what I've done to be denied again
It seems it’s only in a dream (oh really?)
If I have another sex dream
I hope your mum isn't in it
Released in 2001, “The Convincer” is a gentle gem in the Nick Lowe catalog; an anniversary edition provides opportunity for rediscovery. Bandcamp New & Notable Sep 20, 2021