A Narrow Escape

by Ian Freud

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lyrics

Where has Emma Thackeray gone?
I remember spreading her thighs
One day by the riverside
I looked up her skirt
Dear god help me…

Where is my Emma now?
I remember the look in her eyes
As they looked back into mine
One night in the toilets
In the back of the pub
We were the talk of the town god help us

So one night
By the pale blue light
Of the laptop
I look her up
And it’s no good!
She’s spreading racist memes
Causing a public scenes
I’m sorry to say
She lives in Spain with a right ugly bastard

Now you might you say that I’m unkind
And I guess that I am half inclined to agree
But I still think that it was a narrow escape for me

Where is Jennifer Sixsmith now?
I remember how she would tease
Promising me that she would please
And the night that she did?
Oh dear god help me…

Where is my Jenny now?
I finally got her knickers down
On the 117 down into town
She bought a ticket
But it was only one way
So I lent her a quid and she said she would help me…

So one night
By the flickering light
Of the laptop
I look her up
And I’m aghast
She’s married and run to fat
(Although she looks better for that)
She’s trying to sell some diet pills to me, of all people!

You could say that I’m unkind
And I guess that I am half inclined to agree
But it still feels like a narrow escape to me

Then I wonder what happened to me?
I remember having some hair
And mums saying: “you’d better beware
I don’t trust that lad”
(and quite correctly)

Where do I find myself now?
Hiding from a chequered past
The hair that I had didn’t last
And I snoop on the women
That I knew as girls
And I think about them when I’m in bed – god help me!

I wonder if
They look me up
And if they crease their brows
When they see me now
Now that I’m bald
A beard hides many things
I’ve cheated and lied, I’ve stolen and I’ve sinned so many times

Now you might say that they’re unkind
And obviously I’d be inclined to agree
But you could say that they had a narrow escape from me

credits

released September 14, 2021

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about

Ian Freud Leeds, UK

Idiot. Plainly too old, bald, fat and out of touch for this. Pay in pies and you have me for life.

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