Infra Dig

by Ian Freud

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Well welcome - come inside And let me slide into your mind And I’ll what can find What you’re hiding deep inside You’re looking tired and you look stressed So just lay down and get undressed And have a rest (excuse the mess) And I promise: no duress Now tell me all your secrets And I’ll tell you no lies What you want is what I got And I’ll keep you satisfied I’m the Apothecary Man, I keep it all up here So listen up my dear Cross my palm with silver now... Look - read the prescription My description isn’t fiction Isn’t that an accurate depiction of the friction in your mind? I got blue pills I got red ones I’ve got body ones and I’ve got head ones From a book? Oh sure I’ve read one And my mistakes? Oh sure I’ve made some Oh look who’s back again It’s good to see you here my friend I see that there’s no end You’re rapacious but I’m capacious So I’ve made a special blend Just open up your veins And let me pump it straight to your brain I know it sounds a little insane But it’s the end to all your pain...
Fifty Bob 03:10
Officially he’s known as Simon But he calls himself Si with a ‘P’ There’s froth at the corners of his mouth He’s spent the last fortnight on E His hair’s going grey at the temples And his life’s going down on the skids He just about pays the bills Throws down bottles of pills Just to keep up with the kids What a life it would be To freeze the frame in 1993 And never have to change a single thing... Look who’s living the dream Is it everything it’s cracked up to be? Cut your hair, get a job You could sell your soul for fifty bob Staying clear of the law So you can piss your last at 54 Isn’t that what people fought and died for? Why does it have to be this way? (You know what they say: tomorrow’s another day, but sometimes it feels like we’re living in yesterday) Why does it have to be this way? (The faces and places and names might have changed but the winners and losers are always the same) Why does it have to be this way? (Where have you been and where are you going? Is there pleasure in asking or pleasure in knowing?) Why does it have to be this way perhaps tomorrow’s your lucky day? Julie’s Monday is just like the last one She’s chalking it off on the wall She keeps her head down Cos if she makes a sound Maybe no-one will hear her at all She spent a nice weekend in Brighton Took some nice selfies there with the kids She sent them to Si With a text saying ‘hi!’ But he was too busy stroking his id What a life to be free To pay your tax and VAT And never have to deviate from a plan at all… Are you living the dream Is it everything it’s cracked up to be? Go to school, get ahead in your job You can buy your piece for fifty bob Staying clear of the law So you can die in bed at 84 Isn’t that what people fought and died for?
Gone 02:19
“I guess you’d best come in,” she says with a sad shrug “Hang your coat up there - don’t worry about the rug.” Steam starts to crawl up the window Making the tea for two And a plate of biscuits too Because that’s what people do She takes him from the mantlepiece and wipes him with her sleeve Looks down into his eyes and her shoulders start to heave Through the sobs and the hiccups Fighting down the tears She tells him of her fears They've never seemed so near
Toehold 02:26
Into the Sun 03:49
Look at me now See what I’ve done You thought that it’s over? Well, honey - it’s barely begun Oh what a mess I’ve made of it all How many tears must I cry Before you see them fall? Take me back to the sun Show me hope and show me wonder The devil may care But don’t look at me I’m not sure that even he cares From what I can see But here in your arms I feel safest of all Knowing you’ll catch me When I start to stumble and fall Take me back to the sun Show me hope and show me wonder
I was walking on the waters, just minding my own When a crowd of sandal-wearing geezers saw and put me on a throne I said “Lord! Please won’t you leave me alone?” As evening fell I scarpered and finally found my way back home So I was cooking up some dinner for my mother and me She’d cooked up some loaves I got silver fishes fresh out of the sea of Galilee Mum said “Lord - there must be five thousand people outside!” I did my best to feed them, then jumped out of the window to hide I snuck off to the garden thinking “boy what a week!” When this man I barely knew came up and kissed me on my cheek I said “Lord! I’m flattered but I’m not made that way!” These Centurions sprang from nowhere and told me it was an offence to be gay I spent a week in a cell that was hotter than hell And the less said the better about the terrible smell And my Daddy came to visit but wouldn’t stand my bail He said “have you never really wondered why your skin is so pale?” You’ll have to ask your mother, but I suspect another.” You could have struck me with a feather, but I shrugged and thought “whatever” Mother came to see me as I hung around Golgotha I tried my best to get an answer but I couldn’t get one off her And if I’m being honest I was kind of sick of all the grief So when the soldier pierced my side it was a kind of relief And I said “Oh take me home!” So I ascended to heaven on some magical stairs And the guy who was up there waiting had a beard and white hair He said “Son… sit at my right hand on this chair.” I cried for three days and three nights and he said “Christ - I’m sending you back down there!” So that’s where I am now, stuck with you people As you dangle me from walls and stick me on your steeples I say “Lord! Don’t you people have any taste? Besides you’ve got my eyes wrong - and really that ain’t the size of my waist”
Tell Me 03:44
Tell me what you want to see And I’ll show it to you Tell me what you want me to be I’ll be that for you… oh Tell me what you want me to do I could do it to you If you want me to Tell me all the secrets you keep And who you are when you sleep Hands up if you’re a bad girl Hands down if you’re a good girl Tell me how you want to be tied And I’ll pull down the blinds Tell me if it hurts too much Or you want a bit more (Nobody’s here to keep the score) Tell me where you want this to go And I’ll go there with you… anywhere… oh.... Tell me with your mouth or your eyes Try to surprise me I promise you that I won’t mind Hands up if you’re a bad girl Hands down if you’re a good girl
She told me quite correctly that I was high maintenance, She pointedly reminded me that I can’t keep it in my pants, Clap me irons, send me down cos I’m guilty as charged I could see it in her eyes as she came to realise That I was really telling lies just to buy myself some time But it seems that the time’s already gone Come on now, mate - let’s go get a beer We can sit in a corner and I’ll lend you an ear I’ll get the pints in and you get the snacks We’ll work out a way to win her heart back She was so mad at me and had every right to be I wish that I could make her see that she means the world to me No matter how it might sometimes look And if that wasn’t bad enough, I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut, And said a bunch of stuff that I can’t regret enough Now I’m staring at my phone like a dog with an empty bowl Come on now, mate - let’s go get a beer We can sit in a corner and I’ll lend you an ear I’ll get the pints in and you get the snacks We’ll work out a way to win her heart back
Oblivion 05:52
They say that times have changed And love is all the rage So how come all I see When I turn on my TV Is people just like me? They say that nothing’s true Is that a point of view: That nothing’s what it seems? Well I’ll stick to my dreams And things I can believe Don’t mind me - ‘Cos I’ve had a bit to drink And when I’ve had a bit to drink I offer opinions There’s too much in my head and I need to go to bed And a welcome oblivion On days like these when I’m barely even here And the end seems so near I would welcome oblivion Nothing’s meant to last The future of the past Has finally arrived And it’s not as advertised What a time to be alive But time keeps rolling on We’re here and then we’re gone Bust to boom, and boom to bust All our hopes and dreams and lusts Returned back to the dust


released June 1, 2018


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Ian Freud Leeds, UK

Idiot. Plainly too old, bald, fat and out of touch for this. Pay in pies and you have me for life.

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